


Emotional Theatrics

by legendarypieceoffic



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Pointless Navelgazing, Unrequited Crush, Very Slightly Hinted Body Dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-09
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2017-12-07 23:36:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/754423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendarypieceoffic/pseuds/legendarypieceoffic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan attempts to kill time while waiting for his rival.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emotional Theatrics

> Be the land-dwelling purple blood.  
You are now Eridan Ampora.  
  
> Bother rival  
Predictably, she doesn't answer. You swear that fickle mud-licking spider hag is avoiding you again.  
  
> Bother moirail  
No answer. Maybe Feferi is visiting her lusus. Maybe she's just had enough of your bullshit.  
  
> Troll one of your other sea-dweller acquiantances  
No. Fuck those guys. Always giving you shit because maybe you flap your gills at a couple of dirtscrapers or maybe you prefer to be on the water than in it or maybe you like blue a little more than the average brinesucker. You're better than them. You've got plans. So many plans. All the plans.  
  
> Elaborate on these plans of yours  
Unlike your fellow seadwellers, you have the ambitious goal of killing all landdwellers. For several sweeps you and your rival have been pursuing a working doomsday device that will invite destruction upon the landdwelling scum and wash them from the bloodline. Your moirail thinks that this is just an excuse to flirt with your rival, but that is preposterous slander and you will not abide by it.   
  
> Resist the urge to harass your rival  
You fail to resist the urge. Likewise, your rival fails to resist the urge to ignore you.  
  
> Do something constructive while you wait  
You'll have to be more specific.  
  
> Examine scarf  
You chose the most major and pressing matter on your endlessly stretching agenda and fiddle with your scarf. It's in your favourite and second-favourite shades of blue, cerulean and cobalt respectively. You suppose you could be - that is - have picked indigo, but like hell you'd go along with their ridiculous subbjugglator miracle poppycock. The next colour down is cobalt, which would be your first choice if it didn't remind you of a certain sweaty creepy asshole. At least the cerulean you know is half-way passable as a rival and co-conspirator, even if she is a capricious duty-shirking land-bitch.  
  
> Troll the one you are pale for  
Pshh, as if you'd be pale for a dirtscraper like Fussyfangs. She can't spy a quarrel without sticking her meddling meddler sniff-nodes betwixt. Worst part is, for all her meddling she never takes anything for herself, like, say, your dirt-sucking rival. Yeah, you know she's flushed for Vriska, even if she's neck deep in denial. If you were her moirail, you'd teach her a thing or two about proper acrimonious dealings, about grabbing what you want and not letting any ol brinesucker just walk all over you, but you're not, so none of this EVEN MATTERS.  
  
> Get trolled  
Oh. Well if it isn't your rival, finally done lollygagging and wasting your precious time. You answer.


End file.
